Secrets to Satisfying Sex (For men only)
Whether single or coupled, or whatever your relationship path is, these tips will almost guarantee more sex satisfaction in your life. If single, this is how you will potentially attract a partner; and if coupled, this is how you will appreciate a dynamic and awesome love and sex affair with your mate.
- GROW UP! Your lover doesn’t want your little boy. To be a master lover, first become a masterful man. What is a masterful man? Live your life with purpose. If you don’t know what it is, find it, then live it with gusto. Live with integrity. Be a great and clear communicator. Do what you say you will do. Be fully authentic. Learn to be vulnerable. In other words, work on yourself and don’t indulge in petty excuses or complaints. Your partner desires your full masculine sense of self and sexual self.
- BE ENTERTAINING. One of the biggest complaints I hear from partners is that men are boring. Conversations are boring, lives are boring, dates are boring, and sex is boring. One of the keys to becoming interesting is to become interested and passionate about everything you do. Get fed up with your own boring life and do something that is extraordinary. Create a life where you have something interesting to talk about. Nurture your own adventurous spirit both in the bedroom and outside. Take courses, read great books, travel, do something outrageous that you’ve never done before.
- GROW SOME BALLS. Get over your need for approval and affirmation from your partner. There are some things as a man you must do for himself. Men become hot when they are confident. Confidence is sexy. Be confident in your touch, your words and your actions. Tentativeness is a huge turn-off.
- WORK OUT. Take care of your body. Exercise and eat well. Get your flabby body to the gym and start working out. This will add years to your life and your love life. Do you want to have strong erections through your 60’s, 70’s, 80.s and yes, your 90’s? Forget the Viagra and get to the gym. Your fitness is the most important factor in maintaining your libido and erections. It is a total fallacy that men can’t be fully sexually active throughout their lifetime.
- LEARN. Explore how to read your own and your partner’s body and work/play with sexual energy. Mastering sex is a path of learning to run and exchange energy. This can be learned from good and ethical teachers and coaches. Don’t bother trying to learn from porn movies. They are produced for mostly male pleasure and have almost no value with regard to being a great lover. We give more education on how to drive a car than to being a great lover or a conscious human being. Tantra and Taoist practices have been around for thousands of years and offer exceptional tools for mastering and harnessing sexual energy. There is help for low libido, erectile dysfunctions, pre-mature or early ejaculation and more.
- PLAY. What is it about men that takes our sexing so serious? Lighten up! Laugh, tickle, play and really make sex and intimacy fun. When was your last belly laugh together? Pleasure is an essence that continues to evolve. There is no ceiling to how much joy the body can experience. We limit our pleasure from our own self-imposed beliefs.
- BECOME EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT. Men, there are more emotions to master other than horny, angry and hungry. When your partner asks how you feel, don’t say ‘fine’. Discover your rich inner world of feelings and learn to speak of them with emotional intelligence. Your ‘heart-on’ is the biggest aphrodisiac.
- CURIOSITY. Express authentic desire to know your partner. Be curious about their life without trying to change or fix them. Hold space for their fears, successes, struggles, and even their challenges or criticisms of you. Do this without contracting into your little boy or getting defensive. We’ve got two ears and only one mouth for a reason, listening is twice as important as talking.
- PRESENCE. While presents wrapped with shiny paper and bows may make your lover temporarily happy, your greatest offering is presence. Lose the distractions of TV, sports, porn and other bleeders of energy and really show up with full on attention. Presence is a muscle that will get stronger with practice.
- APPRECIATION. Court your lover, no matter how long you’ve been together. Compliment your partner on who they are, what they look like and how they act. Appreciate your own life and live with gratitude. Cherish each moment.
Now that I hopefully have your attention, the real truth about men is that we are more magnificent than we’ve ever fully realized. For many of us, greatness lies dormant, waiting to be uncovered. Each of us holds wisdom, presence, authentic power, generosity, consciousness, passion, creativity, vulnerability, big love and much, much more. As my students have heard me say so often…’it’s a glorious thing to be a man’.